10 Recommendations for Someone New to the Milongas

Someone in Seoul is new to the milongas and asked me how he can enjoy himself.  Here are my 10 recommendations:

 

1.  Listen to the music, whether you are dancing or not.  Find out what music you like and what music you don't like.

 

2. When you like the music, dance; if you don't like the music, don't dance.

 

3. Dance with the people you like dancing with, try not to dance with people you don't like dancing with.

 

4. About inviting people to dance:

 

a) Do not invite someone who doesn't know anything about you to dance.  The less a person knows about you, the less likely he or she will dance with you.

 

b) If you want to dance with someone you don't know, try to get that person's attention first by 1) looking at the person; 2) smiling at the person; 3) saying hello to the person; 4) have your friend who knows that person introduce you to that person.  There are many ways, but if you don't try, that person will never know you exist.

 

c) If you want to dance with someone you already know, try to get the person's attention first by (1) or (2) or (3) above.  Then try to invite that person by your eyes or by small gestures (instead of by words).  Before making a move, imagine what will happen if you get turned down.

 

d) Do not invite people who don't look like they are ready to dance (with you).  Some telling signs: they don't have their dance shoes on, they are deeply involved in a conversation with their friends, they see you coming but they look away, ...

 

e) When you turn down an invitation, try to be polite and considerate.

 

5. Show people you can dance by dancing with your usual partners first.  If you think you cannot dance well (yet), do not dance too much.  Find a practica to practice.

 

6. Leaders: follow the line of dance by following the couple in front of you.

 

7. Do not introduce people to each other and make them dance together.  if you think two people will enjoy dancing with each other, just make an introduction and let them figure out whether they want to dance or not.

 

8. When you are not dancing, do not be bored or look bored.  Listen to the music.  Watch other people dance and try to learn something.  Gossip with your friends.  Drink some wine.  If nothing works, go home.

 

9. Before going to a milonga, pay attention to your appearence and personal hygene.  Imagine you are going to a date or meeting some new friends you want to impress.

 

10. When you are not in the milonga: listen to the music and try to improve your dancing.  It will make the milonga better for you.